A few days before my reunion with UConn he was involved in a car accident. While he was driving home, an under-aged driver struck his car on the passenger side. UConn was fortunate to come away with no abrasions or major injuries, but his Lawyer suggested regular trips to the physical therapist to have his back treated for stiffness. We agreed at our re-union to play his summer workout schedule by ear because of these appointments and his work schedule.
When UConn started working out with us, he was woefully out of shape. I expected this since he hadn't played competitively in a year. Surprisingly, he fought through his physical state and kept up with the intensity of our workouts. UConn seemed to have turned a corner. Coming out of high school, he would've found every excuse to get out of a workout. The new and improved UConn was encouraging teammates to go harder even though he was weezing. I loved it...until the following Monday rolled around.
(Phone call from UConn)
UConn: Coach, I'm just calling to let you know I can't make it today.
Me: What's up? Is everything okay?
UConn: I kinda hurt myself this weekend.
Me: What happened?
UConn: I went fishing this weekend wit my fam and I cut my heel.
Me: Can you walk?
UConn: Yeh.
Me: Are your arms still functioning?
UConn: Yeh. Why?
Me: I'm trying to understand why you have to miss a workout session because you cut your heel.
UConn: It hurts real bad. Every time I take a step it stings.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Armslong and the Cab Driver
There's nothing like going to work and being confronted by the local police upon sitting at your desk. It was mighty awkward, to say the least. As the man in blue was walking towards my desk, I was trying to review everything I had done over the weekend in my mind real quick. I was drawing a blank and the officer was approaching me rapidly! Who could I call to bail me out? What did I do?? At the very least I figured I might have some money coming to me if this were simply a case of mistaken identity.
My palms grew sweaty and I suddenly had a case of bubble guts. This, to me, was a black professional's worst nightmare--being lead through a hallway in handcuffs while his white colleagues are looking on!
Officer: Are you the Men's Basketball Coach?
Me: (heart pounding) Yes, I am.
Officer: Does Stretch Armslong play for your team, sir?
Me: (sigh of relief, yet concerned) Yes, he does...
Officer: Well, he seemed to piss off a local cab driver on Saturday.
Me: Umm.. What? How'd he piss off a cab driver?
Officer: He stiffed the cabby for $30. The cab driver wants his money before noon or he's going to press charges.
I called Armslong into my office later that day to get some clarification on what happened.
Me: Why was a police officer in my office earlier talkin' about how you stiffed a cab driver for $30 on Saturday?
Armslong: Oh yeh.. So I went to this interview on Saturday and didn't have any money on me, or a ride back to the crib.
Me: Oh okay.. So knowing that you didn't have a ride you decided to jump into a cab with no money?
Armslong: Yeh, but check this.. I told the cab driver that my roommate was home and could let me borrow the money so I could pay him.
Me: You realize we were leaving for our game at 12 and you got into the cab at 1230. How did you think your roommate would be home a half hour after we had planned to leave? And plus, your roommate is as broke as you are. He doesn't have a f-in job!
Armslong: You right. You right. I just thought maybe he might be home, or somebody else. Why you mad??
Me: The cops were at my office!! That's why I'm mad, and this doesn't make any sense!! Hold up. Just you and him live together, though. Who the f*ck was supposed to be there with $30?!?
Armslong: His girl was there earlier. I figured she be there.
My palms grew sweaty and I suddenly had a case of bubble guts. This, to me, was a black professional's worst nightmare--being lead through a hallway in handcuffs while his white colleagues are looking on!
Officer: Are you the Men's Basketball Coach?
Me: (heart pounding) Yes, I am.
Officer: Does Stretch Armslong play for your team, sir?
Me: (sigh of relief, yet concerned) Yes, he does...
Officer: Well, he seemed to piss off a local cab driver on Saturday.
Me: Umm.. What? How'd he piss off a cab driver?
Officer: He stiffed the cabby for $30. The cab driver wants his money before noon or he's going to press charges.
I called Armslong into my office later that day to get some clarification on what happened.
Me: Why was a police officer in my office earlier talkin' about how you stiffed a cab driver for $30 on Saturday?
Armslong: Oh yeh.. So I went to this interview on Saturday and didn't have any money on me, or a ride back to the crib.
Me: Oh okay.. So knowing that you didn't have a ride you decided to jump into a cab with no money?
Armslong: Yeh, but check this.. I told the cab driver that my roommate was home and could let me borrow the money so I could pay him.
Me: You realize we were leaving for our game at 12 and you got into the cab at 1230. How did you think your roommate would be home a half hour after we had planned to leave? And plus, your roommate is as broke as you are. He doesn't have a f-in job!
Armslong: You right. You right. I just thought maybe he might be home, or somebody else. Why you mad??
Me: The cops were at my office!! That's why I'm mad, and this doesn't make any sense!! Hold up. Just you and him live together, though. Who the f*ck was supposed to be there with $30?!?
Armslong: His girl was there earlier. I figured she be there.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
UConn's Return
In late July I felt somewhat uneasy about our point guard situation. I couldn't think of one person who could actually play the role of floor general among the eight players I envisioned being on the team. Having been here for six years, I knew the chances were strong that a decent point guard would find his way to tryouts--but absolutely nothing is certain at this level. Last year, the guy I thought would be our starting point guard literally disappeared the day before tryouts. My projected starting center was committed to an asylum a few weeks later that year. Knowing how crazy things could get, I contacted UConn about playing for me again.
UConn's first tour of duty with us ended on a sour note. When he was substituted out of the game, he threw a kiddy tantrum and disrespected my Assistant Coach in the process. His outburst got me so angry that I really considered leaving him at the gym, which was an hour and a half away from home.
Given his awful attitude for most of the season, I chose not to invite him back for the following season. I had kept him around simply because our point guard situation that season was also tenuous. I figured the year-long suspension would have straightened him out so I called him in to see if we could reconcile our differences and start fresh.
Me: You and I both know that our first trial at working together didn't go well. You didn't like me, and I didn't like you all that much either.
UConn: True, but I learned from that.
Me: Hold on now. Let me finish.
UConn: Okay
Me: I'm inviting you back because I really think you have the head to be a solid point guard for us. You had a good understanding of the plays, and I think your shot will come back with more confidence. If you're willing to come back and put a lot of work in at the gym, I want to do this again.
UConn: Honestly, coach.. I'm ready to do this again. We had some misunderstandings, but I heard you've changed so I see this being able to work.
Me: I changed?
UConn: Yeh. I heard you just different now. You communicate wit guys better n stuff. After that first year I decided to take the year off to work on some things...to put on weight like you told me to< and look at me now! I put on like 20 lbs just working out this past year.
In all honesty, he seemed to be five pounds heavier--at best. That conversation was a strong indicator that UConn and I would continue to have issues.
UConn's first tour of duty with us ended on a sour note. When he was substituted out of the game, he threw a kiddy tantrum and disrespected my Assistant Coach in the process. His outburst got me so angry that I really considered leaving him at the gym, which was an hour and a half away from home.
Given his awful attitude for most of the season, I chose not to invite him back for the following season. I had kept him around simply because our point guard situation that season was also tenuous. I figured the year-long suspension would have straightened him out so I called him in to see if we could reconcile our differences and start fresh.
Me: You and I both know that our first trial at working together didn't go well. You didn't like me, and I didn't like you all that much either.
UConn: True, but I learned from that.
Me: Hold on now. Let me finish.
UConn: Okay
Me: I'm inviting you back because I really think you have the head to be a solid point guard for us. You had a good understanding of the plays, and I think your shot will come back with more confidence. If you're willing to come back and put a lot of work in at the gym, I want to do this again.
UConn: Honestly, coach.. I'm ready to do this again. We had some misunderstandings, but I heard you've changed so I see this being able to work.
Me: I changed?
UConn: Yeh. I heard you just different now. You communicate wit guys better n stuff. After that first year I decided to take the year off to work on some things...to put on weight like you told me to< and look at me now! I put on like 20 lbs just working out this past year.
In all honesty, he seemed to be five pounds heavier--at best. That conversation was a strong indicator that UConn and I would continue to have issues.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Enabling the Bubblee
Bubblees are a product of two extremes--neglect (or abandonment) and coddling. The stories from this past week may seem random, but there's one subtle common denominator, the Enabler.
In the case of Flash and Blanco, it's difficult to tell if the chicken came before the egg--or vice versa. Neverthless, their way of being has been encouraged by people who have failed to hold them accountable.
Once Boobee accepted Flash's story of being infected with chlamydia through his friend's shorts, she inadvertently communicated that his filandering was okay. Flash clearly has a ton of issues going on, most of which came about long before his girlfriend entered the story. Boobee hasn't caused Flash to be a cheater or liar. However, she has unwittingly encouraged his behavior by not having him pay a consequence for cheating.
Blanco had a situation in which it seems he didn't have to answer to anybody. I believe his mother was incredibly supportive and meant well in bringing him to the gym to play. Sitting there without saying a word while he played for over an hour is (to me) over the top. He never walked over to ask if she was fine sitting in a corner by herself. The message in that situation was, do whatever you want. In the one instant where I held him accountable for being disrespectful, it snowballed into an unnecessary display of defiance.
So far, I have yet to conclude that Bubblees operate in total solitude. Along the way, somebody has said that it's okay to behave in this deficient manner.
In the case of Flash and Blanco, it's difficult to tell if the chicken came before the egg--or vice versa. Neverthless, their way of being has been encouraged by people who have failed to hold them accountable.
Once Boobee accepted Flash's story of being infected with chlamydia through his friend's shorts, she inadvertently communicated that his filandering was okay. Flash clearly has a ton of issues going on, most of which came about long before his girlfriend entered the story. Boobee hasn't caused Flash to be a cheater or liar. However, she has unwittingly encouraged his behavior by not having him pay a consequence for cheating.
Blanco had a situation in which it seems he didn't have to answer to anybody. I believe his mother was incredibly supportive and meant well in bringing him to the gym to play. Sitting there without saying a word while he played for over an hour is (to me) over the top. He never walked over to ask if she was fine sitting in a corner by herself. The message in that situation was, do whatever you want. In the one instant where I held him accountable for being disrespectful, it snowballed into an unnecessary display of defiance.
So far, I have yet to conclude that Bubblees operate in total solitude. Along the way, somebody has said that it's okay to behave in this deficient manner.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Say Goodnight to the Bad Guy!
Blanco's season took a turn for the worse when he was wheeled off the basketball court from practice on a stretcher. As he came down from an attempted lay-up, his knee completely buckled. My initial thought was that he tore his ACL or MCL, which meant his season would have essentially ended before it even started. I immediately cancelled practice so I could be with him at the hospital.
The Red Sox happened to be playing the Devil Rays that evening in Game 7 of the ALCS, so the two hour wait wasn't as painful. When Blanco's mother finally arrived at the hospital, she immediately thanked me for being there. That's all she said for the next twenty minutes. Blanco did all the talking from there...
The initial diagnosis was a slight tear to his ACL. Miraculously, Blanco was ready to play within a month. The original prognosis was 6-8 weeks. He came back in four weeks and expected to play and start immediately. I wanted to be cautious so I opted to use him in five minute stints during games. Blanco didn't like that.
A month or so after the injury (six games into the season), I decided it was time to trim the roster because there was way too much drama on the team. I gave the team a quiz on our signals and out of bounds plays. Four people failed with flying colors (guys who were playing in games and complaining about roles). They were immediately dismissed from the team.
Blanco actually passed the test, but what happened next still has me baffled. I started yelling at one of his teammates who was in the bathroom throwing up (Saturday morning...ahem) as a result of all the running they were doing.
Me: Guys claim to be committed to this team yet they're poisoning their bodies the night before practice!! This is ridiculous!
Blanco: (mutters something..)
Asst Coach: What you say?!?
Blanco: (muttering again...)
Asst Coach: Be a man!! Speak up so we can hear you!
Blanco: This isn't track practice. Why you got guys running like this? And why are you accusing guys of doing stuff outside of practice?? How do you know what he was doing last night?!
Me: You want the whistle, coach?!
Blanco: Not at all. (mutters again...)
Asst Coach: Speak up!!
Blanco: You know what? I don't need this sh*t! I'm done!
Asst Coach: There's the door!
Me: Have a ball on your way home!!
Blanco then grabbed a basketball because he thought I was telling him to literally "have a ball." I told him to put the ball back. He obliged by punting it to the other side of the court. His season was officially over six games into his first year. After finishing first semester with a 2.8, he dropped out of school second semester.
The Red Sox happened to be playing the Devil Rays that evening in Game 7 of the ALCS, so the two hour wait wasn't as painful. When Blanco's mother finally arrived at the hospital, she immediately thanked me for being there. That's all she said for the next twenty minutes. Blanco did all the talking from there...
The initial diagnosis was a slight tear to his ACL. Miraculously, Blanco was ready to play within a month. The original prognosis was 6-8 weeks. He came back in four weeks and expected to play and start immediately. I wanted to be cautious so I opted to use him in five minute stints during games. Blanco didn't like that.
A month or so after the injury (six games into the season), I decided it was time to trim the roster because there was way too much drama on the team. I gave the team a quiz on our signals and out of bounds plays. Four people failed with flying colors (guys who were playing in games and complaining about roles). They were immediately dismissed from the team.
Blanco actually passed the test, but what happened next still has me baffled. I started yelling at one of his teammates who was in the bathroom throwing up (Saturday morning...ahem) as a result of all the running they were doing.
Me: Guys claim to be committed to this team yet they're poisoning their bodies the night before practice!! This is ridiculous!
Blanco: (mutters something..)
Asst Coach: What you say?!?
Blanco: (muttering again...)
Asst Coach: Be a man!! Speak up so we can hear you!
Blanco: This isn't track practice. Why you got guys running like this? And why are you accusing guys of doing stuff outside of practice?? How do you know what he was doing last night?!
Me: You want the whistle, coach?!
Blanco: Not at all. (mutters again...)
Asst Coach: Speak up!!
Blanco: You know what? I don't need this sh*t! I'm done!
Asst Coach: There's the door!
Me: Have a ball on your way home!!
Blanco then grabbed a basketball because he thought I was telling him to literally "have a ball." I told him to put the ball back. He obliged by punting it to the other side of the court. His season was officially over six games into his first year. After finishing first semester with a 2.8, he dropped out of school second semester.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Flash & the Infected Shorts
Flash feared for his life when the "stinging" was diagnosed as chlamydia. He knew that the infection, itself, wasn't life threatening. It was his girlfriend/baby's mother (Boobee) whom he feared might take his life.
Apparently, Boobee had an unregistered firearm hidden somewhere in the apartment just in case there was ever a need to use it. They lived in the hood, so there was rationale for this protective measure. Hoodlums and "caddy chicks" aside, Flash was well aware that he was next on the death chart. In their situation, let's just say there was a very thin line between love and a homicide.
Flash: Yoooo, coach. I think I burned Boobee. She talkin about feelin a lil uncomfortable, ya meen??
Me: Really, man? You gave it to her??
Flash: I didn't mean to, though!
Me: I don't know what to tell you. Just be honest with her...
Flash: (pause..look of fear) Are you outta your damn mind?!? This chick is crazy. She got a toolie!
Me: She has a gun yet you're messing with her feelings?
Flash: I ain't tryin to mess wit no one's feelings! See! I told her I ain't wanna be wit her no more!! This is why.
Me: because you knew you'd get chlamydia??
Flash: Nah man. I'm 20 and in college. I'm tryna do me. Plus, look at her. Can you see me and her in a wedding pic?? It's gonna look funny.
Me: I have nothing to say, man. You gotta deal with this. Sorry.
Flash: This is my life, Coach!
Eventually, Boobee went to the hospital and discovered that she had chlamydia as well. Flash got off the hook with a lame story. He told her his roommate let him borrow some shorts that were infected with chlamydia. She believed him.
Apparently, Boobee had an unregistered firearm hidden somewhere in the apartment just in case there was ever a need to use it. They lived in the hood, so there was rationale for this protective measure. Hoodlums and "caddy chicks" aside, Flash was well aware that he was next on the death chart. In their situation, let's just say there was a very thin line between love and a homicide.
Flash: Yoooo, coach. I think I burned Boobee. She talkin about feelin a lil uncomfortable, ya meen??
Me: Really, man? You gave it to her??
Flash: I didn't mean to, though!
Me: I don't know what to tell you. Just be honest with her...
Flash: (pause..look of fear) Are you outta your damn mind?!? This chick is crazy. She got a toolie!
Me: She has a gun yet you're messing with her feelings?
Flash: I ain't tryin to mess wit no one's feelings! See! I told her I ain't wanna be wit her no more!! This is why.
Me: because you knew you'd get chlamydia??
Flash: Nah man. I'm 20 and in college. I'm tryna do me. Plus, look at her. Can you see me and her in a wedding pic?? It's gonna look funny.
Me: I have nothing to say, man. You gotta deal with this. Sorry.
Flash: This is my life, Coach!
Eventually, Boobee went to the hospital and discovered that she had chlamydia as well. Flash got off the hook with a lame story. He told her his roommate let him borrow some shorts that were infected with chlamydia. She believed him.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Flash Gets Clapped...
Flash: Coach, what it mean when you go to the bathroom and it stings?
Me: When what stings?
Flash: You know? Your joint... You know, coach. (pointing towards his member)
Me: I'm not a doctor. How am I supposed to know why it stings?
Flash: Figured I'd just ask you since you know a lot.
Me: Do you drink a lot of water?
Flash: I drink a lotta soda.
Me: It could be a kidney stone. Where does it sting? I hope you know I'm not touching anything.
Flash: (laughs) Nah man. I don't need you touchin nothin! lol. It stings right at the tip when I pee, especially.
Me: If you just get the stinger when you pee then you might have an STD.. do you have discharge? Are suds coming out of your ... joint?
Flash: You know what?
Me: What?
Flash: I think this chick burned me, Coach. I messed wit her last week and I ain't have any rubbers. That's a bad hit!
Me: Where'd you meet her?
Flash: She goes to school here. I figured college chicks are clean so it wouldn't be a big deal to go raw.
Me: When what stings?
Flash: You know? Your joint... You know, coach. (pointing towards his member)
Me: I'm not a doctor. How am I supposed to know why it stings?
Flash: Figured I'd just ask you since you know a lot.
Me: Do you drink a lot of water?
Flash: I drink a lotta soda.
Me: It could be a kidney stone. Where does it sting? I hope you know I'm not touching anything.
Flash: (laughs) Nah man. I don't need you touchin nothin! lol. It stings right at the tip when I pee, especially.
Me: If you just get the stinger when you pee then you might have an STD.. do you have discharge? Are suds coming out of your ... joint?
Flash: You know what?
Me: What?
Flash: I think this chick burned me, Coach. I messed wit her last week and I ain't have any rubbers. That's a bad hit!
Me: Where'd you meet her?
Flash: She goes to school here. I figured college chicks are clean so it wouldn't be a big deal to go raw.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)