Love Hurts

Love is a bitch. I felt badly for Jazmine as she talked about the hurt she experienced in her relationship. The emotional damage was evident on her high school transcript. She bombed her junior year. It looked nothing like the front, or back end, of her academic record. I wondered how the pain would affect her ability to handle the rigors of college.

I've never understood how people find it in them to love hard after having love fail them. My first experience with love many years ago caused me to be extra cautious in relationships henceforth. My high school sweetheart and I started kickin it during our junior year of high school. We were like Cherelle and Alexander from the jump.

Nothing could pry us away from each other. I even stopped hanging with my boys, and it was no problem for me at all. My girlfriend and I were in a world of our own. During our senior year of high school, other than when we slept or went to class, she and I were together. I had extreme anxiety as college loomed. The thought of not having my other half around was painful.

Before I enrolled in college, my older brother warned me about having a long distance relationship. My girlfriend was going to college in Virgina. He told me about how he bagged a bunch of first year girls who were in relationships during his very brief stint in college. I was insulted that he'd suggest my girlfriend would get down like that, but he planted some doubt in my mind--especially since my boy told me she hooked up with a guy on spring break.

She denied it ever happened, but my boy said otherwise. We stayed together through that tough spell, but I never quite trusted her again. Whenever I called her room during late hours and she wasn't there, I'd freak out. In a matter of months, I went from being a laid back boyfriend to an overly sensitive, emotional wreck. It was so bad that I'd leave parties on campus to go chat with her in my dorm room on AIM. After my freshman year of college, we broke up. Although it was mutual, I was devastated. That summer, love became something that I feared. It literally broke me...

Jazmine's situation was very different. I had some degree of control over my relationship, but she was totally blindsided by what happened to her. Nevertheless, given the deep scar that love left me with, I wondered how Jazmine's future would unfold given the agony of her experience.

Jazmine: Junior year was rough for me. You can tell by my grades.
Me: Yeh. I can see that. You did well in Creative Writing, though. You like to write?
Jazmine: Very much so. It really helped me deal with what happened.
Me: Is it too personal for you to share what happened with me?
Jazmine: No. My boyfriend...he died in a car accident.