Dookie Butt

Dicky wanted revenge. His girlfriend (Twig) of two years had cheated on him, and he didn't see it coming. At that point, I had known Dicky for a few years. We were really good friends. It was a shock for me to see how badly the whole situation shook him. He went from being real jovial to sullen overnight. At one point, I actually feared for Twig's life because Dicky was intent on getting back at her.

Dicky and Twig were high school sweethearts. Their relationship was going strong until she went off to college. Even though they were down the street from each other in college, their bond dissolved quickly. She wanted to party and he was ready to get married. A few months into first semester things started to get very ugly as the differences in their attitudes about the relationship became more glaring.

Dicky probably should have seen the drama coming since he knew that Twig had some serious psychological issues. Twig was bulemic and anorexic. I also learned that she was dealing with manic depression, which lead her to behave oddly towards him. Before Twig cheated on Dicky, he confided in me that she would randomly do things to hurt him. Little incidents occurred here and there that Dicky brushed off until she eventually went full throttle with some guy after a party.

Surprisingly, after a couple of months apart they got back together. I was shocked that he forgave her, and puzzled that she got back with him. I had expected Dicky to do something crazy but it never happened. Months after their reconciliation we were commiserating about women when Dicky told me about Twig's peace offering.

Dicky: Yo. You'll never believe what this chick did to show me how sorry she was for cheating on me.
Me: What?
Dicky: You can't ever tell her I told you this.
Me: Never that.
Dicky: I'm sitting on the toilet taking a shit, right. Then all of a sudden the door knocks.
Me: Yeh?
Dicky: I tell her I'm in the bathroom and she says she wants to come in.
Me: I don't even know if I want to hear the rest of this.
Dicky: (laughing) The next thing I know she pushes the door open and gets on her knees.
Me: Why?
Dicky: She started giving me head while I was still on the seat, dog. I didn't even get to flush the toilet!