Special Education

Spider is an "F" student. Out of the 8 classes he has taken here in two years, 5 of his grades have been Fs. Underachieving is nothing new to Spider, unfortunately. Coming out of high school, most of his grades were "Ds." When I met Spider as a high school senior three years ago, he said the courses weren't all that hard. He claimed that his grades were a product of general apathy. The little bit that Spider did in school, he noted, was done for the sole purpose of maintaining his eligibility for basketball season.

I recruited Spider heavily. He's the only student I ever presented a jersey with during a recruitment visit. Athletically, he's the type of player that scouts drool over. Although Spider was rail thin, he was a 6'2 forward with incredibly long arms. He ran the floor very well and jumped out of the gym. I figured with the right amount of work I could turn him into my first Division I product.

It wasn't too long after he committed to enrolling here that I realized Spider was in the Bubble. His immaturity was tough to ignore. He was also highly delusional (which is the single most defining trait of Bubblees). By the time September rolled around that year, I'd had enough of dealing with him. I basically told him to take a hike before the season started. Without basketball, Spider fizzled. He almost failed out of school.

At the end of last season, I decided to try again with Spider--figuring that a couple of years to grow up could have been what he needed. In order to get off of Academic Probation, however, Spider needed to earn two "As" in his summer courses. He posted a "B" in Intermediate Writing and a "D" in Basic Math. Even though Spider posted his best marks here during the summer session, those grades were only good enough to allow him to continue on Academic Probation. As a result of being on Academic Probation, there was only one way he could be deemed eligible for the Fall.

Me: I have a question for you.
Spider: What's that?
Me: Please don't be offended. Do you have a learning disability?
Spider: Damn, Coach. Really? I seem like I'm a short bus type?
Me: I'm asking because the only way you could play this Fall is if you have a documented learning disability. That's the only way you could play as a part-time student.
Spider: Oh. Oh. I never was told that I had one, but I felt like I did.
Me: Really??? Were you ever tested?
Spider: No. Never.
Me: Well, if you get tested and your doctor determines that you have a learning disability that's the only way I can have you play this Fall.
Spider: Man, That ain't a problem. I'll get tested asap!
Me: It's not that simple to be diagnosed. And I don't want you going into some appointment acting like something's wrong just to play ball.
Spider: I'm on it, Coach. I'll get tested. Don't worry about it.

A month and a half later, at the age of 20, Spider was tested and diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder.