Crash

I've seen lives cut short by emotional issues. Almost ten years later, I vividly recall seeing the blood stream from Princess' arm. A few staff members rushed over to help me address the situation. Meanwhile, Princess sat there pale and expressionless as the nurse treated her wound. It was as if nothing had occurred. I was in total shock. My body went numb. I was so visibly disturbed that the school director gave me permission to leave for the day.

As a teen, I never contemplated ending my life--nor did I have any friends who talked about feeling suicidal. When I decided to work with teens for a living, I never expected to be confronted with such deep seated emotional issues. My lone familiarity with teen cutters was from tv, and even then the whole notion of that was far fetched. I really thought cutting and teen suicide, in general, was a Hollywood phenomenon.

I learned quickly that depression was very real. Princess was the first of many teens I met who struggled with depression. Years after Princess' cutting episode I met a young man, Suave, who was battling depression as well. He died in a car accident after flipping his car over on a highway. Months before his tragic death, Suave told me about his love of thrills and excitement. I also know that he had bouts of deep depression. I think about him every time I pass the site of his crash. I often wonder if his death was really just an accident...

Princess was removed from my caseload after the cutting incident. Initially, I felt relieved. It wasn't long before I missed working with Princess. However, I recognized that it was probably best for her to work with a more experienced counselor. A couple of years after I left the position I went back to the school to ask about her. I was told she died in a car crash.