Whipped Cream

Slim's husband ejaculated on her face while she was asleep. That insult lead to the couple's divorce. Slim was sick of being married to a rich asshole who felt like he could treat people disrespectfully without repercussion. As she talked about this guy's horrible personality, I wondered why (or how) they even got hitched. After all, an asshole isn't born overnight. During the evening, Slim offered some information that shed some light on how she rolls in a relationship...

My parents' relationship shaped my perspective on marriages. Although mom cooked on a daily basis (and did most of the cleaning), she wore the pants in our home. This was so despite her serving my dad his meals at the table regularly. By no means was dad some chump. He was assertive and tough in his own rite. It just so happened that mom came from a long line of really strong women who didn't take shit from men.

There's a story my mom shares frequently that has helped me understand the dynamics of their relationship. Late one morning she decided to go shopping with her girlfriend. Upon returning several hours later (in the early evening), dad attempted to check her angrily on being out so "late." After mom told him a thing or two about his concerns while clutching a pot of boiling water, he never questioned her in that way again...

Much like my mother, Slim had a strong personality. What I derived from Slim is that she tended towards hard bodied, alpha males. She also admitted to being very sexual. Those two things offered a little bit of insight into the spunk incident with her husband, but another one of her brazen admissions (stemming from a plug I put in for my blog) helped me put things into greater perspective.

Slim: Your blog sounds so cool.
Me: Thanks. I've been doing it for over a year. Now I'm just trying to mix it up with these stories about strippers and people who are sexually deviant. It's all part of this big theory I have.
Slim: What's that?
Me: People often express their emotional baggage sexually. Nothing new there, but a lot of that baggage stems from childhood drama.
Slim: Oh. Well, I'm just a freak. I like sex. My boyfriend and I actually hit strip clubs together regularly.
Me: You don't get jealous?
Slim: Not one bit. One time we licked whipped cream off of a stripper's nipples together.
Me: That's nuts!
Slim: What's nuttier is that I was four months pregnant at the time, baby bump and all...