Midnight Facial

I tend to have odd encounters with strangers. Given the frequency of these occurrences, I really believe something in my overall being is responsible for this. It could just be that I like to listen; whereas, most people would rather speak than give another person the time of day. However, that still doesn't fully explain why I'm a regular target for troubled people.

One night at the bar, I was watching a game on the big screen when this middle aged white woman interrupted my concentration on the tube. Initially, I thought she was trying to hit on me, but it turned out that she just wanted to vent about life. All it took for her pipes to burst was a simple acknowledgement of her greeting. In one sitting, this lady told me everything from her daughter's passion for dance to her husband doing time behind bars for knocking off convenience stores.

The latest example of this went down at a friend's birthday dinner, which was being held at a restaurant. I was the last to arrive at the joint, so my friend asked me to sit in the last remaining spot with her "BFFs" in a booth. Next to me was a thin brunette, Slim, who seemed very friendly. Through conversation, I discovered that Slim was a new mom who happened to be going through a divorce.

Me: That must suck to go through a divorce after giving birth.
Slim: No. Not at all. My husband isn't the father. We're in the process of getting a divorce. I have a boyfriend.
Me: Oh okay. How'd you guys meet?
Slim: He was actually my husband's roommate in college.
Me: Wow. Haha. Were you always attracted to him?
Slim: Yeh, but I never acted on it until after my husband and I split.
Me: If you don't mind my asking, why are you divorcing him?
Slim: He's a fuckin douche.
Me: What makes him a douche?
Slim: He was a real asshole, in general. The final straw was when he ejaculated on my face while I was asleep.
Me: What?!
Slim: Yeh. He was watching porn and just decided to cum on my face while I was sleeping.