I had a legitimate reason to quit life. Almost eight years later, I still wish I had done something extra during the late morning hours of November 16, 2003. It was the last time I got to eat with my father. We sat close to each other enjoying one of my mother's signature dishes (squash soup and Haitian patties) while he talked to me about feeling stronger. The vision of him seated in his rightful place at the head of our kitchen table for the last time is still clear in my mind.
Hours after we had eaten together, I was supposed to help him take a bath. For reasons I don't recall today, I asked my mother to do it instead. On my way out the door, I gave him a kiss on the forehead (as I usually did) and told him I'd be back during the week. Not only did I neglect to follow through on that, I also failed to call him for three days.
Four days later when I saw him again I was at the hospital making a heart wrenching decision. The surgeon on duty informed my mother and I that if my father survived surgery to drain blood from his brain, he would be an invalid thereafter. After telling the surgeon not to perform surgery I cried uncontrollably at the foot of his hospital bed knowing he was going to pass on. He died two days later. I never got to say goodbye appropriately to a man who had done so much to shape me into who I had become.
Three days later I returned to work where I was responsible for the case management of 40 students...
Lebraun finished with one of the highest GPAs on the team last semester, a 2.85. Since then, however, he has been dealing with a series of personal issues--ranging from his mother selling the Christmas gift he gave her for crack to being evicted with his family from their apartment. He also got into a car accident around that time in his aunt's car. The downward spiral seems to have just started for Lebraun, unfortunately.
Financial Aid Representative (FR)
FR: Coach, is Lebraun one of your basketball players?
Me: Yes, he is. What's the problem? I thought he was all set with financial aid?
FR: He wasn't all set. As a matter of fact, he was dropped from all of his classes.
Me: What?!?! You're kidding, right?
FR: No. I'm going to get him back in, though. He also never asked for a book voucher.
Me: We're a month and change into the semester, though. That would mean he doesn't have books!
FR: That is correct. I don't think we can get him a voucher at this point. I'll see if we can work something out with the bookstore.
After this exchange with the Financial Aid Representative, I decided to pull him aside after basketball practice to chat.
Me: How are you doing in your classes?
Lebraun: Well, you already know about that one class I'm getting an F in because I didn't go for the first three weeks.
Me: Yeh. What about the other classes?
Lebraun: I don't get my computer programming class.
Me: I thought you said you were good with computers.
Lebraun: I thought so too, but I don't get that class at all.
Me: You don't have the book so how would you get what the professor is doing?
Lebraun: (silence...)
Me: What about math?
Lebraun: I'm straight in that class. That class is good.
Me: How??? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF YOUR BOOKS FOR CLASS?!?!
Lebraun: Please don't suspend me from the team, Coach. This is all I got goin fuh me. My father never told me I was good at nothin and now I'm on a team. This is all that's keepin me goin, Coach!
Lebraun is now ineligible to play because one of his Professors refused to let him back into his fourth class, which is needed to participate in a sport at the college.
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