Blanco's high school coach warned me about the baggage he was coming in with. Before I watched Blanco play for the first time on campus, his high school coach called and shared a very detailed assessment about his game and personality. He said a lot of great things about him, but also let me know very frankly that he had some issues that may interfere with his overall success. One afternoon I walked into the gym to see if the guys were in there working on some aspect of their game, and as expected nobody was on the court. Blanco happened to be sitting on a sofa right outside the gym. Something was visibly on his his mind, so we went to my office to chat.
Me: You seem down. What's wrong??
Blanco: (tears forming) My AAU coach... He's dying of cancer.
Me: Oh man. I'm so sorry to hear that. How do you know he's dying??
Blanco: He told me his doctor said he ain't have much time. I always thought he was gonna get better. That man's the only dad I know.
Me: Dad? What do you mean? You don't have a relationship with your dad?
Blanco: (sobbing) Naw. I actually finally got to meet him this summer. I went down South to meet him and expected it to be cool, you know.. meeting my dad for the first time.
Me: And it wasn't?
Blanco: He acted like I wasn't even there. I've never did anything to him. He barely talked to me. Most the time he was wit his girl. This AAU coach been more of a dad for me than my own father ever was...
*** I sat there and let him cry because he needed to. He was obviously hit hard by this snub from his father.
I had a sense that Blanco's family issues ran deep. When he came up to play ball during the summer, his mother would sit silently in a corner every time. She'd never utter a word. He'd play for an hour and a half--sometimes even longer, while his mother just sat there. I thought this was weird because I know for damn sure my mother would've said something after the second game. I'd have three games to play. Tops! It was clear that he was the man of his home.
My spidey senses were raging. I knew it was just a matter of time before he balked at the male figure who wouldn't let him have his way as a first year player with unrealistic hoop dreams.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Blanco, the "Anomaly"
Blanco is a white guy. Often times when I speak of "the Bubble", people automatically assume that I'm using a euphemism for poor Black and Latino males. The effects of growing up with no consistent positive/supportive male role model and being academically troubled transcends race. Blanco is the perfect example of that. As a matter of fact, Blanco was one of the first Bubblees I'd ever encountered.
Blanco was so convinced of his Division I talent that Jesus Christ couldn't have convinced him otherwise. He was a 6'3, 190 lbs center who was not athletically gifted and possessed solid all around offensive skills, at best. Defensively, Blanco was a major liability. He couldn't defend a mailbox on a good day. All of this, yet I was the bad guy for being real with him.
Blanco: Coach, can I have our game schedule again?
Me: Sure. Do you need it for your supervisor or something?
Blanco: No. I need it for the basketball coach at Quinnipiac.
Me: (not really sure what to say) Are we talking about the D1 in CT.
Blanco: Yeh. That's the one. They watched me play then started sending me letters, but then my knee... I used to be so much more athletic than I am now. That injury killed it for me.
Me: (looking him square in the eye) I'd be pissed off if I were that coach and you sent me a schedule.
Blanco: Why?
Me: Gas is money and I don't like people wasting my money.
Blanco: (shoots back) Well, he has seen me play before and I know I can play at that level. I've played against guys on that team before and scored on them...
Later on, I discovered that Blanco was going through some personal issues stemming from a summer trip down South to visit his long, lost father.
Blanco was so convinced of his Division I talent that Jesus Christ couldn't have convinced him otherwise. He was a 6'3, 190 lbs center who was not athletically gifted and possessed solid all around offensive skills, at best. Defensively, Blanco was a major liability. He couldn't defend a mailbox on a good day. All of this, yet I was the bad guy for being real with him.
Blanco: Coach, can I have our game schedule again?
Me: Sure. Do you need it for your supervisor or something?
Blanco: No. I need it for the basketball coach at Quinnipiac.
Me: (not really sure what to say) Are we talking about the D1 in CT.
Blanco: Yeh. That's the one. They watched me play then started sending me letters, but then my knee... I used to be so much more athletic than I am now. That injury killed it for me.
Me: (looking him square in the eye) I'd be pissed off if I were that coach and you sent me a schedule.
Blanco: Why?
Me: Gas is money and I don't like people wasting my money.
Blanco: (shoots back) Well, he has seen me play before and I know I can play at that level. I've played against guys on that team before and scored on them...
Later on, I discovered that Blanco was going through some personal issues stemming from a summer trip down South to visit his long, lost father.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Re-evaluating "the Bubble"
This week I chose to highlight Bubble trait #2, which deals with the extreme poor judgment of those in "the Bubble."
There was Flash's plan (real or not) to rob his local Walgreen's. Armslong decided to drive a car around that had pitch black tints (which are illegal in the state of MA) even though he had no insurance and $1000 worth of unpaid parking tickets. You also got to read about Thuglife's idea of a good time--riding around town and yelling profanities out of a car window at random people. The dialogue is a rough recollection of conversations I've had with these guys. However, the situations I've written about have really happened!
In my previous recap, I noted that the delusional speak (ex. I shot somebody shortly before school started.) is the defining trait of those in "the Bubble." I'm beginning to re-assess that. Every psychological state has a continuum. The delusion could be the deeper end. I'm very intrigued by the continous poor judgment of Bubblees (people who live in "the Bubble.") I noticed that each of these guys make several awful decisions for every good one. I once showed Flash on a board how he had a 7:1 ratio in terms of bad to good decision making . He was stunned to see the visual.
The unfortunate thing is that even when the Bubblee makes a good decision, it ends up being compromised (or negated) by all of the bad choices.
Bubble Characteristics: Bubblees have a combination of several of these characteristics.
1. False sense of reality/abilities (i.e. delusion)
2. Extremely poor judgment/irresponsible
3. Unable/Unwilling to accept blame for anything
4. Financially irresponsible
5. Friends have little to no motivation
6. Awful parent
7. disloyal
8. Chronic exaggerator
9. Little to no ambition/misplaced ambition
10. No resilience
11. Happily ignorant
12. Very inconsistent
13. Drama Driven
14. Unable/unwilling to acknowledge flaws
15. Self – Mutilator
16. Extremely selfish
17. Frequently fired/Rarely hired
18. Manipulative
19. absent moral compass
20. Has at least one significant enabler .
There was Flash's plan (real or not) to rob his local Walgreen's. Armslong decided to drive a car around that had pitch black tints (which are illegal in the state of MA) even though he had no insurance and $1000 worth of unpaid parking tickets. You also got to read about Thuglife's idea of a good time--riding around town and yelling profanities out of a car window at random people. The dialogue is a rough recollection of conversations I've had with these guys. However, the situations I've written about have really happened!
In my previous recap, I noted that the delusional speak (ex. I shot somebody shortly before school started.) is the defining trait of those in "the Bubble." I'm beginning to re-assess that. Every psychological state has a continuum. The delusion could be the deeper end. I'm very intrigued by the continous poor judgment of Bubblees (people who live in "the Bubble.") I noticed that each of these guys make several awful decisions for every good one. I once showed Flash on a board how he had a 7:1 ratio in terms of bad to good decision making . He was stunned to see the visual.
The unfortunate thing is that even when the Bubblee makes a good decision, it ends up being compromised (or negated) by all of the bad choices.
Bubble Characteristics: Bubblees have a combination of several of these characteristics.
1. False sense of reality/abilities (i.e. delusion)
2. Extremely poor judgment/irresponsible
3. Unable/Unwilling to accept blame for anything
4. Financially irresponsible
5. Friends have little to no motivation
6. Awful parent
7. disloyal
8. Chronic exaggerator
9. Little to no ambition/misplaced ambition
10. No resilience
11. Happily ignorant
12. Very inconsistent
13. Drama Driven
14. Unable/unwilling to acknowledge flaws
15. Self – Mutilator
16. Extremely selfish
17. Frequently fired/Rarely hired
18. Manipulative
19. absent moral compass
20. Has at least one significant enabler .
Friday, August 27, 2010
Pookie Starts to Unravel
Pookie was a really weird dude. Other guys I've written about struggle with consistently making good decisions. Pookie was just a total mess. He had absolutely nothing going for him. You could almost hear the "ticking" as Pookie sauntered about campus. He just seemed to be a car honk away from being on CNN.
Me: Dude, what's your problem???
Pookie: What? Why you askin me that?
Me: You're in my office everyday. I've given you money for lunch. I've bought you toiletries. Why are you here everyday staring at me? Seriously, man!! You just sit there and stare!
Pookie: So, I can't come and visit you??
Me: No! You're up in this building all day everyday asking people for donations and stuff. Why don't you get a damn job?!?Plus, you're telling people you're on the team. I don't appreciate that. You aren't even a basketball player! I've seen you play!
Pookie: What should I work on to be on the team??
Me: EVERYTHING!
Before watching him work out with the team, he had told me that his original plan was to play at another school in our region. He couldn't even dribble a basketball.
One day as I was walking to my office, the Dean of Students called me into her office.
Dean: Do you know "Pookie"?
Me: Yes.
Dean: Is he one of your players?
Me: Absolutely not. He's terrible.
Dean: Well, he seems to have gotten himself in some serious trouble.
Me: What did he do?
Dean: Apparently, he forced a young woman who identifies as a lesbian to have sex with him in the driveway of 123 Something Street. Do you recognize that address?
Me: That's where a couple of my players live...
Dean: Well, that's where he allegedly committed this act. We've been looking for him to no avail. He has stopped going to classes.
I never saw Pookie again. He was a fugitive. I found out much later that Armslong and Thuglife agreed to take him in their apartment as long as he turned their electricity back on under his name. Their electricity had been turned off for non-payment.
Me: Dude, what's your problem???
Pookie: What? Why you askin me that?
Me: You're in my office everyday. I've given you money for lunch. I've bought you toiletries. Why are you here everyday staring at me? Seriously, man!! You just sit there and stare!
Pookie: So, I can't come and visit you??
Me: No! You're up in this building all day everyday asking people for donations and stuff. Why don't you get a damn job?!?Plus, you're telling people you're on the team. I don't appreciate that. You aren't even a basketball player! I've seen you play!
Pookie: What should I work on to be on the team??
Me: EVERYTHING!
Before watching him work out with the team, he had told me that his original plan was to play at another school in our region. He couldn't even dribble a basketball.
One day as I was walking to my office, the Dean of Students called me into her office.
Dean: Do you know "Pookie"?
Me: Yes.
Dean: Is he one of your players?
Me: Absolutely not. He's terrible.
Dean: Well, he seems to have gotten himself in some serious trouble.
Me: What did he do?
Dean: Apparently, he forced a young woman who identifies as a lesbian to have sex with him in the driveway of 123 Something Street. Do you recognize that address?
Me: That's where a couple of my players live...
Dean: Well, that's where he allegedly committed this act. We've been looking for him to no avail. He has stopped going to classes.
I never saw Pookie again. He was a fugitive. I found out much later that Armslong and Thuglife agreed to take him in their apartment as long as he turned their electricity back on under his name. Their electricity had been turned off for non-payment.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Flash tells his story...
Flash was a gunman's aim away from never having a chance to play in a college basketball game. According to Flash, back when he was running the streets, somebody he had beef with opened fire on him. A few shots zipped his way but only one hit him in the calf. Somehow Flash recovered to the point where at his dimunitive height (5'10) he could still dunk the ball with two hands a couple of years later. I once asked him what brand of cocoa butter lotion he was using because he had no trace of a scar on his calf.
God's grace is serious!
During that phase of Flash's life, he was also a purse snatcher until late one night a random old lady told him something that sent chills up his spine. After knocking off an elderly woman, he ran to a bus stop a couple of miles away to wait for his getaway ride (the city bus). As he sat there waiting, a "very grey haired woman" turned to him and said simply, "you will reap." He looked away for a second, then she was gone.
Flash was also the head of his own little crew. He ordered people to be beat up, and even devised plans for major heists.
Flash: I used to be on some stuff, yo. You expectin a lot from a nigga who used to run the streets, Coach. This whole school thing ain't even me.
Me: That's $1 in the nigga jar. I didn't twist your arm to be here, you know.. The effort you're putting out to change your life is admirable, but you need to be pushed. You lose focus.
Flash: I used to be about gettin dough, man. Name it, I done it. Drugs? Check. Guns? Check. If this one plan had gone through I woulda been in the dough fo real.
Me: Lemme guess. You tried to rob a bank?
Flash: Nah man.. Walgreens.
Me: Walgreens? What were you trying to do, steal all the Sudafed and sell it to the kids??? hahaha
Flash: See. I'm not even playin, Coach. I got the blueprints for that place. We was gonna run up in there and shake the place down.
Me: Are you for real?? You don't seem like the type to do that sorta thing.
Flash: That's who I was before. I'm tryin to do something different now so my son could look up to his dad, you know...
God's grace is serious!
During that phase of Flash's life, he was also a purse snatcher until late one night a random old lady told him something that sent chills up his spine. After knocking off an elderly woman, he ran to a bus stop a couple of miles away to wait for his getaway ride (the city bus). As he sat there waiting, a "very grey haired woman" turned to him and said simply, "you will reap." He looked away for a second, then she was gone.
Flash was also the head of his own little crew. He ordered people to be beat up, and even devised plans for major heists.
Flash: I used to be on some stuff, yo. You expectin a lot from a nigga who used to run the streets, Coach. This whole school thing ain't even me.
Me: That's $1 in the nigga jar. I didn't twist your arm to be here, you know.. The effort you're putting out to change your life is admirable, but you need to be pushed. You lose focus.
Flash: I used to be about gettin dough, man. Name it, I done it. Drugs? Check. Guns? Check. If this one plan had gone through I woulda been in the dough fo real.
Me: Lemme guess. You tried to rob a bank?
Flash: Nah man.. Walgreens.
Me: Walgreens? What were you trying to do, steal all the Sudafed and sell it to the kids??? hahaha
Flash: See. I'm not even playin, Coach. I got the blueprints for that place. We was gonna run up in there and shake the place down.
Me: Are you for real?? You don't seem like the type to do that sorta thing.
Flash: That's who I was before. I'm tryin to do something different now so my son could look up to his dad, you know...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thuglife meets Loco
Transitioning to college from a life of thuggery isn't easy for most, especially when you're just a summer removed from shooting somebody from a rival crew. Thuglife, on the other hand, acclimated himself almost seamlessly to being a student. It didn't take long for Thuglife to find a new best friend either--Loco.
(Loco didn't quite qualify for "the Bubble" because he doesn't have that delusional characteristic. He was really just LOCO.)
He and Loco were like peas and carrots. I swear they were sharing underwear for awhile. You really couldn't find one without the other... EVER! They had a similar penchant for utter stupidity--like the day they rode around town together shouting obscenities out of a car window at random people. During that little adventure, Loco got out of the car and hit a random person over the head with a full 20 oz bottle of Poland Spring for fun.
I couldn't confront either of them about this episode since a passenger in that car told me about this incident, so I decided to pull them in separately just to talk about our code of conduct.
Me: So I hear you and Loco have hit it off. Y'all are like Starsky n Hutch.
Thuglife: Oh.. yeh. Loco's my nigga!
Me: That's a dollar for you in the "nigga" jar. Pay up.
Thuglife: My fault
Me: How is it that we're only a week into school and y'all are acting like long lost twin brothers??
Thuglife: He just mad cool. Like, we have a lot in common. He's a real n..., I mean dude. And plus, we kind of connected in a weird way.
Me: How's that??
Thuglife: Well, I was tellin him about this chick that I smashed on out by where he live and come to find out he beat it too! That was funny! We messed wit the same chick around the same time!!!
**Months later, Thuglife and said female became a couple.
(Loco didn't quite qualify for "the Bubble" because he doesn't have that delusional characteristic. He was really just LOCO.)
He and Loco were like peas and carrots. I swear they were sharing underwear for awhile. You really couldn't find one without the other... EVER! They had a similar penchant for utter stupidity--like the day they rode around town together shouting obscenities out of a car window at random people. During that little adventure, Loco got out of the car and hit a random person over the head with a full 20 oz bottle of Poland Spring for fun.
I couldn't confront either of them about this episode since a passenger in that car told me about this incident, so I decided to pull them in separately just to talk about our code of conduct.
Me: So I hear you and Loco have hit it off. Y'all are like Starsky n Hutch.
Thuglife: Oh.. yeh. Loco's my nigga!
Me: That's a dollar for you in the "nigga" jar. Pay up.
Thuglife: My fault
Me: How is it that we're only a week into school and y'all are acting like long lost twin brothers??
Thuglife: He just mad cool. Like, we have a lot in common. He's a real n..., I mean dude. And plus, we kind of connected in a weird way.
Me: How's that??
Thuglife: Well, I was tellin him about this chick that I smashed on out by where he live and come to find out he beat it too! That was funny! We messed wit the same chick around the same time!!!
**Months later, Thuglife and said female became a couple.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Flash Goes to Jail
Two days after school had started (on a Thursday) Flash and some of his teammates decided to go clubbing. Little did they know that their night of innocent fun would land them behind bars. To his credit, Flash decided to play the honest card and tell me what happened before I could find out through another channel.
Flash: (knock knock)
Me: Hey man! Have a seat. How are things going out here? You like your spot?
Flash: (hesitates) Things is aiight.
Me: Aiight? Just okay? College isn't fun so far?
Flash: Yeh. It's straight... Coach, if I told you something you won't tweak??
Me: (heart sinks) umm.. it depends on what it is you have to tell me?
Flash: Seriously, though. You wanna have a relationship that's based on honesty, right? Memba you said that to me in the car. You want us to be real wit each other. Memba?
Me: Of course. Okay. I'll try not to get upset. What happened???
Flash: ... well, last night.. uhh... a few of us spent the night in jail...
Me: WHAT?!!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! WHAT THE >>??
Flash: (puts his hands out) Hold up!! We got bailed out by homey's sista. You promised not to get upset. I'm tryna be real witchu.
Me: okay... (motioning to come out with it)
Flash: An undercover rolled up on us while we were drinkin outside the club. Don't worry. The car was parked.
Me: Huh?
Flash: Yeh. Last night we went to the club and tried to have some drinks right outside the club in the car before we went in..just a few swigs, you know. And then this dude rolled up on us and we got arrested.
Me: That doesn't make any f-in sense! You think it's okay to drink in a parked car?!?!
Flash: (knock knock)
Me: Hey man! Have a seat. How are things going out here? You like your spot?
Flash: (hesitates) Things is aiight.
Me: Aiight? Just okay? College isn't fun so far?
Flash: Yeh. It's straight... Coach, if I told you something you won't tweak??
Me: (heart sinks) umm.. it depends on what it is you have to tell me?
Flash: Seriously, though. You wanna have a relationship that's based on honesty, right? Memba you said that to me in the car. You want us to be real wit each other. Memba?
Me: Of course. Okay. I'll try not to get upset. What happened???
Flash: ... well, last night.. uhh... a few of us spent the night in jail...
Me: WHAT?!!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! WHAT THE >>??
Flash: (puts his hands out) Hold up!! We got bailed out by homey's sista. You promised not to get upset. I'm tryna be real witchu.
Me: okay... (motioning to come out with it)
Flash: An undercover rolled up on us while we were drinkin outside the club. Don't worry. The car was parked.
Me: Huh?
Flash: Yeh. Last night we went to the club and tried to have some drinks right outside the club in the car before we went in..just a few swigs, you know. And then this dude rolled up on us and we got arrested.
Me: That doesn't make any f-in sense! You think it's okay to drink in a parked car?!?!
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