That's Gay

Most of my players are homophobic. That was highlighted a few years ago when I coached a young man who many of my players perceived to be gay. In addition to wearing his afro in a pony tail all the time, he routinely wore flourescent colors and never talked about girls. I'm sure none of them ever asked him outright about his sexual preference. They just used stereotypical markers to assume his sexuality.

I never sought to find out if the young man was actually gay. It didn't matter to me. During a group meeting early that season I was forced to address the situation when a player took a mean spirited jab at his teammate. As a result of that occurrence, I started making it a point to let my team know that our operation was a hate-free zone at the beginning of each season. My stance has usually been met with some resistance--especially when it has come to the liberal use of gay. They have generally refered to everything bad as being gay.

Years later I was forced to engage one of my players (Mouth) in an exchange about his poor choice of words when he said something was gay. While I wasn't surprised about the depth of Mouth's ignorance, the conversation highlighted that there is still a faction of people who are in the dark ages as it pertains to homosexuality.

Me: Don't say that it's gay. Use a different word.
Mouth: Why? Am I offending you?
Me: You aren't offending me, but your use of language is offensive and unnecessary.
Mouth: It ain't that serious, coach.
Me: How would you feel if people used "black" to refer to stupid things?
Mouth: That's different. And plus, our issues are different than theirs.
Me: How so? We're both discriminated against.
Mouth: They make a choice, we don't.
Me: People are born gay. That's not a choice.
Mouth: First off, people aren't born gay. The bible says that. I was born black. That's very different.
Me: I'm not gonna convince you about that in this sitting, but what I want to do is put you in a Sociology of Sex and Gender course.
Mouth: Why?
Me: It'll be good for you to be in a class that addresses sexuality in depth.
Mouth: Nah. I'm all set. That gay shit is gross.