Imaginary Playa

I once lied about getting some arse. I fronted so hard about getting in Nana's pants that it actually feels weird writing this confession. That passionate, imaginary night with Nana became so real to me that I had to remind myself it never happened.  I told my boys that I made her see "flowers growing in snow." I bragged about the different positions we explored, and how we got busy in the shower and her bedroom. If you asked my crew, they'd say that I blew Nana's back out that night. What they didn't know was that I pieced together a bunch of my older brother's true stories about getting some buns and made up my own night of ecstasy. I was a freshman in high school at the time.

I'm pretty sure a lot of my friends lied about their conquests in high school, especially during our freshman year. Boys do that. I only had one friend who admitted he was a virgin, and we never let him forget about his inexperience. Whenever a Friday night outing became boring, we just started cracking on his inability to get any. I think he finally got some his senior year. He never gave in to our jokes, though. Unlike the rest of us, he was really comfortable in his virgin skin. In many ways, actually, he was far more mature than the rest of us. For example, he was the first friend to give me a book as a birthday present. I thought it was corny at the time, but it turned out to be one of the best books I've ever read (Native Son).

Looking back, I wish I had been more like him in that he was comfortable as a 15 year old virgin. It took years for me to grow up in that regard. By my junior year of high school, I wasn't lying about my sextracurricular activities anymore. I didn't really care what people thought of me, or what I was doing. As a matter of fact, this attitude lead people to accuse me of being arrogant more often than not. That didn't bother me either. I wasn't that insecure boy from freshman year anymore...

A major frustration of mine here has been the level of immaturity I've encountered from players on a regular basis. The sad part is that I get a new crop of guys every year who exhibit the same childish behavior even though they're in their late teens and early twenties. On my way into the gym one afternoon to do the team's laundry, I was confronted with one of these stupid situations. Femme (who plays for the Women's basketball team) stopped me to talk. She was furious.

Femme: Coach, can we talk?
Me: Sure. What's up?
Femme: You need to tell your boy, Speedy, something!
Me: What he do?
Femme: You know we real cool, right? I can't believe he'd do this to me. He's going around telling everybody that he's having sex with me, and it isn't true! We've never even kissed!
Me: I really can't get involved with that. You need to take that up with him but make sure you don't let your emotions get the best of you.
Femme: What do you mean?
Me: Just don't allow the situation to escalate. I know you're upset, but if you pop him, things could get messy. Don't get suspended or expelled over this.
Femme: Well, he should've thought about that before he started telling people he hit it! He doesn't know me. I'll punch him in his fuckin mouth. I don't play that dumb shit!

(A week later...)

Me: So, did you talk to Speedy about it?
Femme: I sure did. I found him in the gym the other day and we handled it.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Femme: I made him admit, in front of his boys, that he was lyin about everything he said we did!