Norms

I have a strict dress code for the team. Everybody is required to wear slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie for road games. They also have to wear shoes unless snowy conditions necessitate boots or sneakers. This rule has been consistent since my first year as the Head Coach. My predecessor had the same dress code requirement when we traveled as a team, but my reasoning for the shirt and tie rule actually originated from something a player said while I was an Assistant Coach on the staff.

During my second season as an Assistant Coach, we earned a berth in the national tournament as a result of winning our region. Prior to leaving for the trip, one of the players (Skip) asked me to bring a tie for him. When I asked Skip why he didn’t have his own tie he explained that shirts and ties weren’t his thing. As a matter of fact, Skip went as far as declaring that he wasn’t a “shirt and tie kind of guy.”

A couple of days after that exchange the team was invited to eat with the other tournament participants at a banquet. I was stunned and saddened by what I witnessed.  Skip had terrible table manners. Not only did he suck on his fingers repeatedly, he also used his index finger as a knife to get food onto his fork. I was embarrassed for him. In many ways, that singular moment shaped the way I decided to run this program subsequently as the Head Coach. I decided then that I would infuse many life skill components into my own program someday...

In my program, the shirt and tie rule for road games is about making sure my players have dress clothes for job interviews. It has nothing to do with basketball whatsoever. I also want them to be comfortable in formal clothing. I explain this to every group of incoming players. Five years after Skip I continue to meet players who are not “shirt and tie guys.”Most, not all, have to buy their road attire before the season starts because they don’t own anything I’d deem appropriate for travel. From there, the resistance varies.

Some will wear everything, but choose not to tuck in the shirt until they board the team bus. Others sag their pants and loosen the tie.  There are also the ones who try to get away with not wearing a tie by zipping their jacket to the top. Looking formal just isn't cool to some of them, even if it's just for two hours.

Flash was not a fan of the dress code. He didn’t like rules, in general, actually. His look was very important to him. Another rule I have is that guys can’t wear fitted caps in class. I peek into their classes regularly to make sure they’re in compliance. Before school starts they’re all told that wearing a cap in class will result in a lot of running. Flash violated the rule three times in a span of two weeks, and each time he was punished for it. He had to run for a mile and a half on a cool morning at 8 a.m. before he decided to fall in line--or so I thought.

I assumed we were done with the hat violations until I received an email from one of his Professors. Immediately after reading the Professor’s feedback about his academic progress, I called Flash into my office.

Me: Can I ask what the fuck your problem is?

Flash: Damn, coach. Why you swearin?

Me: Because you’re a grown ass man looking for attention!

Flash: What you mean? What I do now?

Me: Why are you still wearing a hat in class?!!! Haven’t you run for this a few times already?!!

Flash:  I only wear it in one class, matter of fact, and the teacher gave me permission.

Me: Oh yeh? I’m looking at his email right now where he’s referring to you wearing your “stupid hat all the time in class.”

Flash: Nah. Get outta here. He ain't write that.

Me: (Hand him print out of email)

Flash: Wow. Are you serious? He really wrote, "his stupid hat." Yo, for real, Coach. I swear to God he told me he don’t mind me wearin the hat. I’m not tryin to run no more. He told me I could wear it, Coach!

Me: Why’d you ask him for permission to wear the damn hat after I told you not to wear it?!?!

Flash: Cuz I’m comfortable with it. It’s my hat. I wear it everywhere.
Me: I already told you that professors don't like hats in classes. It's considered to be rude. Did you read the part where he commented about your appearance?

Flash: So he don’t like my clothes either?

Me: Lets go to my boss’ office so we can see what she thinks of your “look.”

Flash: Aiight..

Me (to Boss):  Can I bother you for a minute?

Boss: Sure

Me: What do you think about his appearance for class. Would you let him wear his hat in class?

Boss: He doesn’t look bad. I don’t think he looks right for class, though. I wouldn't let him do the cap.

Flash: Why not?!?! What's wrong wit the way I look? lol

Boss: Your pants are way under your ass and your hat is covering your eyes. It’s not a good look for class. That’s all.

Flash: So what you expect me to do? Lol

Boss: Pull your pants up. Tuck in your shirt, and take off your hat. Lol

Flash: Oh nah. Hell nah! Y’all tryin to have me look like a sucka! lol