Thursday, March 17, 2011

Triple Fat Goose

Cold is the new cool--much like sex is the new crack. Back when I was in high school and college, being warm on cold days was the norm among my peers. That's not the case anymore. As I observe the youth of today, it seems to me that warmth is no longer a priority. Thankfully my days of trying to fit in are way behind me because I have never believed in compromising my warmth for anybody!

Thuglife has been the very fortunate beneficiary of our financial aid system. He has not paid one dollar towards his education because the Federal government has awarded him a full Federal Pell Grant each year that is valued at $5,500. Since tuition and fees for a full-time student is a mere $4200, he doesn't even have to pay for his school books. The only expense that comes out of his pocket (in a sense) is his cost of living.

Since Thuglife does not believe in working, he has taken out $4000 in subsidized loans each year to pay for rent, utilities, and food. After paying for all the necessities, he usually has somewere in the neighborhood of $800 in his pocket. Last year, he bought an Iphone with the excess cash but failed to pay his phone bill the following month since he mismanaged the money. He is now on his fourth phone number in two years and no longer owns the Iphone.

This year, he got a refund check for $2500. After his rent and utilities are paid, he should have around $1000 left to play with. Knowing this, I decided to have a conversation with him about his plans with the money.

Me: Instead of walking around in that thin ass fleece zip-up, why don't you buy a coat? You like being cold?
Thuglife: I don't need no coat, man. That's why I got these hoodies. I just throw em on under the fleece and I'm straight. haha
Me: It doesn't look like you're straight right now. Your teeth are chattering.
Thuglife: Yeh cuz it's dumb cold outside!
Me: And you don't think a coat would help? You could buy a nice Northface with that money.'
Thuglife: Nah. I got other plans wit the money.
Me: What's that? (joking)You going to Foxwoods to double up?
Thuglife: (laughs) That's not a bad idea, but nah I ain't doin' that. I'm thinking about buying a motorcycle!

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